A young, indefinable child goes searching for something to engage her and finds herself trapped by the illusions of a manipulating creature. Her need for exploration leads her into a dark world that tries to steal her soul by appealing to her wants and weaknesses. The young girl goes into the experience with a level of detachment toward the world around her and finishes the experience with a greater understanding of her relationship to everyone and everything in her life. When I state the storyline of the book Coraline in broad terms like I did above I feel somewhat puzzled by the familiarity between my own life and Coraline's. My own life has not followed the same pattern as Coraline's, however; the thoughts, feelings, and growth she discovers resonate very strongly with how I see myself. When I reflect on the book the aspect that speaks to me so clearly is Coraline's ability to learn and grow. Through my observations of Coraline I am able to see that the process of moving beyond roles and identities is a natural product of a conscious life.

Although it is completely natural to define ourselves in certain ways, it is also completely natural to move beyond identities. When I am able to accept this process in myself and other people it allows me to see experiences and situations more clearly. It allows me to move beyond seeing myself and other people through a stagnant reality. In my initial evaluation of Coraline I identified very strongly with certain characteristics that are familiar to how I see myself. I matched Coraline's identity to my own and froze her in this identity. However, upon further evaluation of the book and Coraline I am able to see that many of the ways in which I characterized Coraline are not entirely accurate. When I am able to recognize the growth that Coraline undergoes it becomes clear that she is much more than my initial characterization. There is so much more to her as a person. She exemplifies this beautifully by the changes in her character as the story progresses. When I apply this to my own life I am able to see more clearly that I am not always the person I identify myself to be. However, I find it very easy to identify myself and other people in a certain way.

My initial evaluation of Coraline was that she is an extremely independent child. Although her age is unknown it seems as though she is very responsible for her approximate age range. Right away we see a child that knows what she likes and is perfectly satisfied taking care of things for herself. For instance, when she joins her parents for dinner and they are having leek and potato stew, she tells her father that she does not like recipes and then helps herself to microwave chips and a microwave pizza. Initially, I interpreted this detail as an affirmation of Coraline's independent personality. However, upon further evaluation I see that it could very easily be that Coraline's actions in the situation are a reflection of her relationship with her parents. She is an only child growing up with two inattentive parents. Both her parents work from home so they are around most of the time, yet they seem too distracted to really see Coraline. For example, on page 24 Coraline is out shopping for school clothes with her mother. After wandering around she returns to her mother who questions where she was. Coraline responds, "I was kidnapped by aliens. They came down from outer space with ray guns, but I fooled them by wearing a wig and laughing in a foreign accent, and I escaped". Her mother's response to this is "Yes, dear. Now, I think you could do with some more hair clips, don't you". No matter what Coraline says or does her parents never really notice her. So although Coraline might come by independence naturally, it could also be a product of being ignored her whole life. Due to her home life she has been forced to engage herself and essentially take care of herself.

Even in referring back to the incident where she tells her father she does not like recipes and helps herself to a pizza, I now see a different side to the situation. She has obviously expressed her dislike of "recipes" before. Instead of trying to compromise with her likes and dislikes, her parents have completely overlooked what she is trying to express to them. They go on with their own lives and allow her to do as she pleases, like helping herself to a microwave pizza. So although I initially saw Coraline as an independent child, which has always been a characteristic of myself, I now have to question is that really an accurate portrayal. Although Coraline exhibits independent tendencies she is also very receptive to help. When she is in the other world she seems very open to the guidance and support of the cat. Also on page 133 when she is trying to close the door to the other world she becomes aware that she is not alone, "Help me, please," she said. "All of you." Coraline's ability to move beyond my initial characterization of independence signifies her depth as a character. She cannot be placed in a role of an independent person because of her ability to grow beyond this identity.

After evaluating the truth behind Coraline's independence, I begin to question my own independent nature. As far back as I can remember I have always been very adamant about doing everything on my own. Being the youngest of four children, and the baby in everyone else's eyes, I have always felt the need to prove my independence. When I was younger and had fewer freedoms my independence took the form of never asking for help or removing myself from others. Whether this meant rearranging the furniture in my room by myself or spending hours alone in my room I was always conscious of doing things on my own. At a very young age I began to identify with being an independent person. Because of this I have always seen myself as someone that does not need other people. However, as I have gotten older this independent identity has placed me in a role that no longer serves who I am. In fact, seeing myself as an independent person has been unhealthy on different occasions. For instance, I have struggled with depression for most of my life. There have been many times when I needed help, however, I assumed I could always take care of the depression on my own. I identified so strongly with being an independent person that I convinced myself I did not need help from anyone.

Unfortunately my resistance to help caused me to end up in the psychiatric ward after a suicide attempt. Despite that trauma I still continue to identify with independence on some level. The way in which I have stuck myself in this role is similar to how I initially labeled Coraline as an independent child. The inspiring part is acknowledging that so much of Corlaine's independence is a product of her environment, thus she was able to move beyond this role. This allows me to see that I too am much more than an independent person and completely capable of moving beyond an identity attached to independence. Although it has been a large factor in developing who I am up to this point in my life, there is no reason to confine myself to an identity of independence.

Another characteristic of Coraline's, that is a resemblance of myself, is her level of detachment. My initial interpretation of Coraline is that although she is in relation with others she does not really see them or have any strong connection to them. As the story develops, so does Coraline's appreciation for the people in her life. Her view of the world around her definitely changes from detachment to appreciation. However, upon introduction to Coraline it is clear that she is "removed" from those around her. For instance, when she is referring to her upstairs neighbor, Mr. Bobo, she calls him the crazy old man. It is not until later in the story when she even becomes aware that he has a name. Before knowing his name she related to him as though he were a figure, not a real person, allowing her to feel a sense of disconnect.

Another example of Coraline's detachment in the beginning of the story is how she relates to Miss Spink and Miss Forcible. Coraline goes to the two women in search of engagement, however, she is unable to make a connection because of her level of detachment. The women share their theatre stories with Coraline, however, their history and who they are as people does not seem to matter to Coraline. Or, perhaps I see Coraline as the one who is detached when really it is the inattentive people around her that are too caught up in their own lives to really see Coraline. They are the ones that are detached and Coraline is just responding to the example or mood they set. For example on page six her mother refers to Mr. Bobo as "the crazy old man upstairs".

It is no wonder that Coraline relates to the people around her in a vacant manner when that is the model she has grown up around. It is interesting to watch Coraline's interactions with the cat. Coraline shows a level of vulnerability in their interactions despite the cat's self-centered disposition. On page 36 when the cat is walking away Coraline asks the cat to come back. When he stops she tells him, "We, we could be friends, you know".As soon as Coraline is moved out of her normal reality, and into the other world, her level of detachment seems to diminish. Not only do we see this with the cat, but also with the three children behind the mirror. Upon meeting the children Coraline is interested in who they are and takes steps to save their souls. This is not a reflection of the Coraline that is introduced in the beginning of the story. Once she moves out of her reality she is able to find her own voice and remain more connected to those around her. So again the initial label of detachment I placed on Coraline is not entirely correct. Although it is present, Coraline is able to move beyond the role of detachment and becomes a compassionate person. Detachment is something I identify in myself, thus when I began reading Coraline I placed the same label on her in an attempt to make the book more real for me. However, I am now able to see more clearly how Coraline was able to move past her own detachment and the detachment of those around her.

As I reflect on Coraline I begin to question my own level of detachment. I have never had any close friends for as far back as I can remember. Even as a small child I felt a sense of disconnect between myself and the people around me. This was not true in relation to my immediate family; however, with everyone else I was hesitant to connect. It always felt as though I was on a different level or in a different reality. This level of detachment has stuck with me as I have continued through life. In the past five years I have moved a number of times and each time I do, I am always conscious of having acquaintances, but never friends. It has always been more comfortable knowing I can leave a place without really missing anyone. Although it has been "comfortable" I am still left with the feeling that I am missing out on something very vital to life. On one level I crave connection, however, I have always been so resistant it never seems entirely possible.

However, after observing Coraline I am struck with the reality that once I am able to move beyond a sense of detachment then I will naturally begin to make connections. When Coraline returned to her real world with a greater sense of appreciation for the people in her life, they suddenly were able to see her for who she is. For example on page 140 when Coraline sees her father she gives his a kiss on the back of his head. In response to this "he picked Coraline up, which he had not done for such a long time, not since he had started pointing out to her she was much too old to be carried, and he carried her into the kitchen." Once Coraline was able to move beyond her level of detachment the people in her life responded to her openness. When she was ready for them to see who she is, they were able to connect with her on a much more genuine level.

After evaluating Coraline with more depth and clarity I am struck by the amount of wisdom and courage she has. Although I was aware of her ability to grow, I do not think I understood how much work such transformations can take until I related her story to my own life. I am also surprised by the resemblance my own life has had to hers. Initially I was puzzled by the connection I made between the storyline and my life. However, I am now able to see that I too deal with "manipulative creatures". Although the creatures I deal with are not from another world they still interrupt my life and cause me to see things in a distorted manner. One of which is my attachment to a certain identity that has limited the way in which I have experienced the world.

In our culture we are taught from a young age the necessity of defining who we are and then approaching life from this identity. While I find it important to have a strong sense of who I am, I think this concept of identity is responsible for confining me to a limited experience of life. Although it is important to have a sense of Self, I think our cultures need to define us through this identity is where the attachment begins. Once we become attached then it becomes very difficult to see ourselves as anything other than the roles we have used to label how we see ourselves.

When I connect this idea of identity to Coraline I am inspired by her ability to move beyond identities and roles. Coraline starts out as an ambiguous character and continues to be somewhat indefinable because of her ability to grow and change. For me that was one of the most refreshing parts of the book, being able to observe the development of Coraline and the advancement of her awareness of the world around her. One of my favorite quotes by Confucius, "The one who would be constant in happiness must frequently change," is a perfect summary of what Coraline meant for me. Although I have always honored the importance of change it is not always easy to apply the necessity to my own identity. However, my evaluation of Coraline in relation to myself has really allowed me to see where I can become more aware of stagnation. Holding onto a certain identity that served me before is an unhealthy and unconscious act. I am inspired by Coraline's development as a person and I feel that comparing her own life to mine will allow me to move beyond the identities that have been limiting my own growth as a person.